Many girls dream of fairy-tale weddings and wedded bliss with the man of their dreams, but many are disappointed when they find out the truth about marriage. We don’t want to put anyone off getting married; being in a happy marriage is wonderful, but there are a few home truths that you should know before you tie the knot. What many people don’t realise is that marriage takes hard work to make it a success, it doesn’t just happen. If you are thinking about getting engaged, read these ten things to know before getting married, before you make that commitment.
1. Marriage will not make you whole
Marriage really shouldn’t be your only ambition in life. If you are under the impression that marriage will fulfil you and make you whole, then you will be in for a surprise. A marriage is a partnership of two equals and your individuality is important too. Discover for yourself who you are and what you are, before you get married, because marriage won’t do that for you.
2. You will need to compromise on some of your dreams
It’s also a good idea to make sure that you have got some of wilder dreams out of the way before you get married. When you get married you make commitments to one another and that will mean making compromises too. If you want to ditch your job and go travelling for a year, do it before you get married, or you may regret not having done it before.
3. You need to reach an agreement of finances
Money, mortgages, and bank loans are probably not at the front of your mind when you are in love and looking forward to getting married, and many people do not put enough thought into their finances before they tie the knot. How will your finances be organised? This is not the most romantic, yet one of the most practical things to know before getting married. Agree on how you will handle the finances before you get married and it will avoid a lot of arguing later.
4. Do you agree about children?
There are a few things that you need to understand about each other before you get married too. One of the most important things to know before getting married and have reached an agreement on is whether or not, or when, you will have children. If you brush this one under the carpet, it will become a major issue later on, so you both need to know if you intended starting a family, and when.
5. Does he get on with your family?
The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t like your father may not be a big deal when you are just dating, but when you get married, that could get in the way of you seeing your own father. Like it or not, when you get married, you join each other’s family and that means attending family gatherings and having the in-laws stay over to stay with you.
6. Don’t dump all your friends when you get married
Many people do desert their friends when they get married and then regret it later. You will need a life outside of your marriage, and it’s healthy in a marriage for both of you to go out with friends sometimes. You may not believe this right now, if you are caught up in all the romance, but the ‘flower-chocolate period’ really doesn’t last forever and you will miss your friends after a while if you do dump them.
7. You won’t be able to change him
This is another one of very important things to know before getting married. You definitely should be reconsidering your decision to get married, if you think you can change him. A ring in the finger doesn’t instantly change a person, so if you are expecting your wild man to become the perfect husband after the honeymoon, you might be in for a shock.
8. But, you will both change over time
When you get married you are agreeing to be with your partner for the long run and people do change over time. The relationship will probably become more settled and, arguably, even a little bit boring. You will both have to adapt to these changes and work at making sure that the relationship stays both interesting and secure.
9. You will both have to change your routines
Unless you have lived with the guy for a long time before the wedding, you will both have to learn how to live together and that can take longer than you might think to happen. You might discover that you both have some irritating habits that you had not realised before, and you will have to change your daily routines to fit in with each other too.
10. You will probably have some doubts
One of the biggest shocks that newlyweds often have is that they find themselves wondering if they have done the right thing. When you have your first serious fight, or you come up against a major thing that you can’t agree on, it is only natural that you might begin to doubt that marriage was a good move after all. That, though, is when the marriage becomes stronger, you make compromises, and you realise that the marriage is more important than a single disagreement.